Awkward Moments

This is another trip down memory lane type of post, but couldn't call it that for duplication of a prior title.

Every medical student goes though four years of school (or I suppose more in some less fortunate cases), and in probably every case, there is at least one encounter with an attending that makes you uncomfortable at least once. The biggest one for me was as a third year medical student.

I was rotating on the surgery service. As part of the deal, we had to spend a couple afternoons in the breast oncology clinic. This was a surgery rotation, and a surgery clinic, so naturally these patients had or were going to have surgery. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, those shiny, white things in the corner are breast implants. At any rate, one of the attending surgeons who will remain nameless was very eccentric and somewhat odd overall. On a Stamp Out Smoking day she walked around with a fake cigarette in her mouth. Twisted, no?

Apparently at some point she saw an opportunity to make a medical student uncomfortable. Me. She came out of a patient room and practically demanded I come into this room with her. I went into the room and find sitting right there a bare chested woman. I think she even had a bit of a mock grin on her face, knowing what was about to happen. Behind her I swear there was a gathered crowd for the show: a fellow, maybe a resident, a family member or two, and there may have been a clown.

"What do you notice about these breasts?" the surgeon said.
"Well, uh, I. . ." I stammered. Usually there is a rapport established with a patient before you see her breasts. Usually.
"Well go ahead, touch 'em," the surgeon said.
So I did. What else would I do? Firm yet soft, well rounded. "Okay."
"Well, what do you notice about them?"
"I. . .I don't know. They feel different, but okay."
"They're fake!" I think at this point party streamers and confetti flew across the back of the room.
"Oh. Well good job, doctor." Then I turned and left.

Nothing like a wacky attending paired with a woman who is ready and willing.