Ups and Downs

I never thought as a dude I would experience a major emotional roller coaster in my life. I tend to be pretty even-mannered with very few reasons to gent bent out of shape. However, recently there is one thing, and as you can probably guess, it is this whole followship application thing.

I think it is fair to say that I have good days and bad days. There have been some days when I feel despite the seven interviwes I have/will have, there is still no way I will match. Not just that my chances are low, but that my chances are frankly nil. Some days it has been because I found out about an interview denial which I had previously thought for sure would be a go. I mean, why would a program just two hours down the road at which one of my letter writer's has been a guest lecturer not want to interview with me, while all three of the ones over 2,000 miles away want interviews? Other days I think I just wake up in a bad mood.

But then there are other days when I think about how I have been fortunate enough to get seven interviews, and they are all at good programs (I think). So then, perhaps my odds aren't as bad as I think. Really, though, they just aren't very good.

I just don't want to keep hearing from people, "Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine. You'll match." That may be people just trying to be nice, but it also shows a paucity of understanding what I'm up against. The numbers speak for themselves and that's about it. And even if I do match, it's not like it's a "they were right and I was wrong" sort of situation; it will just mean I am that much more thankful and grateful.

We'll just have to see sometime after I close out the remaining four interviews over the coming three weeks.