A Dream About Failure

Anything surrounded by a lot of thinking and worry can be expected to be accompanied with dreams from time to time. The quickly upcoming stress of applying to fellowships has led to such a thing.

The other night I had a dream I was interviewing for fellowship somewhere in the Pacific Northwest (there are a couple potentials in the area). Through an arduous process of elimination, the applicant pool had been narrowed down to just me and another female applicant - a completely made up person in my head. Someone once told me that the faces we see in dreams should always be from someone we know; this is complete bollocks.

Anyway, she interviewed first and I second. At the conclusion of the interview, the physician (also someone I have never seen) across the table from me looked up and said, "I just don't think you're who we're looking for here." I exited the room only to find everyone applauding for the other applicant who of course got the position. I can't figure out who all these people applauding were. They weren't there when I entered the room, and why would they be so damn happy? I have never placed a lot on the "hidden" messages of dreams, but I mean what the hell?

On the upside, one of my fellow junior residents was there and was given (by the stranger interviewing me) a card - a free pass if you will - stating he would be granted admission into whatever kind of fellowship he wanted when it was his time to apply. Or, at least I guess this is an upside. Either that or a fat slap to the face.