This is about it

You're probably tired of hearing about this stupid test I have, quickly approaching with frightening speed. But writing about it helps me chill that bitch out. I am by no means freaking out, nor is it likely I ever will. But I have been victim to strange sleeping patterns and awakening times. I'll wake up in the middle of the night, sick to my stomach and my heart racing. I don't recall any dreams, but I don't know what else to blame. Momemts later, I will calm down and fall back asleep. Then, I will wake up at early hours in the morning, six or seven o' clock, when I could normally sleep in until nine without an alarm clock. It's not that late, I know, but I just can't seem to sleep until noon or one like some of my friends who refuse to enter the world of adulthood. Not that sleeping in is a bad thing once in a while, but those who would do it every day if they could, and then spend their day doing absolutely nothing. . .OK, tangent there, sorry. I took a practice exam yesterday. It was a four block exam with each block containing 50 questions to be completed in 60 minutes. The real test is seven blocks of the same load and length, **that's what she said** so it was a little more than half the lenght of the real thing. I have been told that a couple of the practice exams, if taken within a few days of the real test, accurately predict your test score within a few points. So I hit a crossroad at the end of the exam; do I look at my score with the possibility of getting myself discouraged this close to the exam, or do I just leave it and continue studying? I had to look, it was like a train wreck in only that respect. The score was good - a 232. To put it in perspective, 185 is passing, the national average is between 200 and 215, and the standard deviation is usually 20, so this puts me around the 80th percentile. So, it's a good score, but I wanted a little higher. Is that bad? After studying for six weeks with only two days left to cram, should I be so concerned about getting over that 90th percentile hump? I don't see why not.

Ever Closer

Lots of things are so close to now. My birthday is tomorrow, but I've hardly even noticed. It's not like being a kid anymore when we looked forward to our birthdays for a month ahead of time. I did, anyway. Kyle is throwing the "bachelor/birthday" party this Sunday. I'm not sure what he's planning, but Rahcel knows all about it. There are only two things I can think of for people to do Sunday morning at 10:00 (if they're even awake to begin with); 1) Go to church, and 2) Go to Grandma's house after church if they went to the early service. The only strip club open at that time will be the one 500 feet south of a small baptist church off highway 530, all of which are otherwise in the middle of nowhere (I found this quite amusing the first time I saw it; I imagine the reverend owns and operates the club). Nobody serves alcoholic beverages at such a time here in Arkansas. So, needless to say, I'm as lost as a midget in a corn maze on this one.

One thing I'm not as lost on is ultimate. While my performance Thursday was pretty piss poor, Tuesday went fairly well. I have improved a lot over the last few weeks, but I have a lot to learn. The summer league starts next week and I have never been so excited to lose. I may have to quit playing with the good guys though, since my first rotation will require working until six or seven most days (so I'm told). That's another thing I'm excited to start: rotations. A month from now, I'll be taking care of real patients. No more fake ones who were trained to simply say, "No, you're doing it wrong. Touch me here."

Rachel's birthday is also approaching. What will I do about it? I have no idea. I'm sure we'll go the birthday suit route in some form or fashion.

Step 1 is still approaching. With barely more than one subject left to study, am I getting more nervous? No, not yet. I don't usually get nervous about stuff like that. My preparation the night before - drink a beer or two to put me in a relaxed mood, and then go to bed when appropriate. Nonetheless, more rides on this test than rides on the next two Step exams since ophthalmology is an early match residency. (More on this when the time comes, in a year and a half or so.) Scores, amazingly, don't take but a few weeks to return, depending on what time table the test is taken. Luckily, I have the honeymoon to mellow out between the test and the arrival of my fate on paper.

Finally, the wedding is still coming. There's not much else to plan at this point. The minor details will fall into place in the days before hand and some even later than that. My attendants' gifts are ordered, tux measurements taken, etc. Not anywhere near as many people are showing up as we originally projected, but that's OK. It will all be a good time without them.

That is all for now.

Studying

Yep, it's no surprise I am studying. Or, rather, taking a break from it at this exact moment. With only two weeks left to cram, I probably shouldn't be here, but who cares? I would say I need a break, but that's kind of hard to suggest since I spent most of the weekend not studying. I went through flash cards and some of a review book while flying on each of the five planes we rode on. That's right, five. We went to Detroit over the weekend for a wedding, and between 5:40 AM on Saturday and noon on Sunday, we boarded five different jets. Amazingly, not a single delay put us behind schedule, not even in Chicago. We had a great time. I got to dance with the always beautiful Rachel Soon-to-be-Thuro. We couldn't really take any of their ideas away with us since pretty much everything at our own wedding, in 19 days, is planned. I don't have much else to say right now since I have given my brain over to the demons of academia, temporarily suspending much in the way of will power and creativity.